Photo Credit: The Internet
Digger cruised to victory in a race that included 4 cautions and a pit road scuffle between racer's wives.
"The AnyTime Fitness human was running good all weekend. I have to thank them for all of their support. Gatorade, Dunkin' Donuts, Bananas, GNC. Tedy. All those guys. We couldn't do it without them," said a jubilant Digger from Victory Lane.
Digger gave credit to his Crew Chief, Hansen: "I unloaded pretty good on Friday morning. Hansen gave me some extra fiber the night before. Sunday morning, I asked her to take a round of wedge out, 'cuz my undies were ridin' just a little bit through 3 and 4. "
This was Hansen's first victory as a crew chief in the half marathon. She couldn't be reached for comment after returning to her car, furious and soaked with Andre sparkling wine.
"She made it look easy, but, man, we had our backs against the wall today- Just before he race, I was leanin' on the side of the house stretchin' out my quads."
The race for Digger marked a surprising turnaround for a guy formerly best known for telling other people how they should have done something.
Digger, you might want to think about getting a trophy case.
Editor's Note: This may have been written in jest, but Digger gets a serious and sincere congratulations from this author. Good work.