We're on a record setting pace

For Jerk of the Year nominees.

I was walking out of the doughnut shop this morning and the customers in front of me were getting into their car, parked next to mine. How should I describe these 3 customers without offending anyone? Hmmmm.
Well, I can't. A female passenger had short hair and probably enjoys organic things. The male passenger's hair was shaggy, but all of it was combed forward, somewhat Beiber-esque. He also started his order in the shop like this: "Can I get a doughnut and...?" for some reason I find that annoying. It's not a question, really. You're in a store that primarily sells doughnuts. I'm pretty sure you can get a doughnut. I guess it's not as bad as saying,"I'd like to give you money in exchange for the goods in your display case." But saying, "Can I get" is stupid.
The driver was a female, somewhere near 20 years of age. She probably enjoys the music of Ke$ha, who's just awful by the way, drinking too much, and being really bad at math and geography.

So which one of the tools earned the nomination for Jerk of the Year this week?

The driver who opened her door into the side of my car. All I could do was groan loud enough for them to hear me and give them a look any 30 year old man would make towards people he knows he's not going to like.

"So sorry," she says. To which I reply not a word, not even a polite "Don't worry about it". (I'm so cool.)

I backed up to drive away, half expecting to get backed into by this idiot, and I caught a glimpse of her license plate.

You guessed it: Massachusetts.

I got door-dinged by a Mass-hole.

Enjoy your weekend.