The Man without a Driver- 21-29

I thought about naming this group of drivers the " boring " twenties, you know, as a play on the term "roaring" twenties. I'd rather play it safe and not face a lawsuit from a decade that occurred 90 years ago. My legal department is ultra conservative. That's why I never say anything remotely slanderous. I almost never say swear words either. You could probably enter dirty words in the search box on this page to see how many times I use each word. (that's a great project for someone with lots of free time.) I bet I've said jerk and turd more than the s word or the b word or the d word. I'm not sure if I've used the f word on here or not. I wouldn't want my future kids to read that, assuming I'm able to have kids and the Internet is still free then.

Where was I? The twenties. Did you guys see the Ken Burns documentary on prohibition called "Prohibition"? You probably didn't. None of you strike me as enjoyers of public broadcasting. See that? That was a one paragraph set up for a zinger.

21- Trevor Bayne won the Daytona 500 this year, then crashed a bunch, then had a mysterious bee sting disease. Quite suspicious if you ask me. I'm not saying I suspect meth, but I always suspect meth when someone's performance suddenly drops.

22- Kurt Busch- When he replaced Rusty in the Blue Deuce, I wasn't happy. Then he spent the most of this season eviscerating his team on closely monitored radio frequencies. On top of that, he always sounds a little nervous in an interview following a confrontation. I'll pass on the Spruce Double Deuce.

23 I think it's unoccupied. Probably a tribute to Michael Jordan.

24- Jeff Gordon- I feel like you needed to be a Gordon fan in 1996 to really be a fan. Since then people started such groups as Fans Against Gordon and encouraged activities like throwing beer cans onto the track.

25- I'm not sure anyone drives this car. Is it going to be Mark Martin next year? Tim Richmond?

26- I was never more excited to see a movie than I was for Talladega Nights. It's the first time I never laughed at a comedy. Oh, Ricky Bobby drove number 26. And then Boris Said once. I guess. Idk.

27- Paul Menard- Sure, he won a race. Who is his sponsor again? Oh yeah- Menard's. Did you ever play T ball with your dad as a coach? I did, and I was the most annoying kid on the team. I was caught on video asking to change positions in the middle of an inning. Nobody makes me play 2nd base, except my dad, apparently.

28- Man, this number might be cursed. I think a couple of guys that drove this car died. No way my favorite driver is going to be a ghost.

29- Kevin Harvick. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. Pros- wins often, solid beer sponsor, although I don't care for Budweiser, points contender. Cons- probably picks on Handicapped and mentally challenged people. Probably.


Wow. Out of the 20's I picked zero drivers for round 2. The 30's aren't looking so promising either.